On my recent, tragic descent into lactardation.

Growing up, I drank three glasses of milk a day, one in the morning before school, one at dinner, and a glass of warm milk before bed (all skim, mind you, or I'd be 600 pounds). I had milk with my cereal all through college, but as soon as I transitioned from hitting the dining hall every day to getting my own groceries, milk was no longer sustainable.

I don't drink tall glasses of milk, but I don't know many people who do--it's not very refreshing and it makes your breath smell pretty rank. While I was living alone in Tucson, I bought several quarts of milk only to see them go bad in my fridge. I try my best to run a tight ship, so I started eating soy yogurt for breakfast, instead of cereal with milk.

Fast-forward to the present day, where I am feeble and lactose intolerant as this elderly Asian man:

Honestly, though, I think it's pretty "street" that a light smearing of cream cheese can stop me in my tracks. It wasn't always that way. Alegrias' baked goat cheese, my beloved Precious Stringsters string cheese, brie en croute, even the damn fruit & granola yogurt cup at the cafeteria... man, I miss those guys.

I happen to love soy, and I'm fine with putting soy milk in my latte. But while I adore soy yogurt, soy custard, smoked tofu, and yuba (this all sounds like pretentious spa food, but it's all stuff that's very common to Chinese cuisine), I also miss dairy. In fact, I would rather be allergic to something like red meat than be lactose intolerant. Because lactose intolerance hates freedom. There, I said it!